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Don't You Love the Life You Killed

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When you know, you know. Plain. Simple. [1905 1:42pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

When you honestly love someone, you just know. There is no questioning it. There's no doubting it. You just go along with it. God didnt say that you have to be with someone for a set amount of time before you guys can say you love each other, and half the time not mean it. I hate all the immature people who doubt me. Don't tell me I dont know what love is. Ive probably loved someone more deeply than most of you could ever imagne. We all know how that ended. So when I say that I am in love with Scott Norcross I know it and yes, Im terrified about it but reguardless I mean it, I wouldnt say it if I didnt.

The fact that we've only actually been together for two months is what everyone goes by, well screw everyone who thinks "I've gotta be kidding them" because none of you could possibly know what it's like to feel the way I feel about Scott.

10 thorns in my side.

[111804 2:29pm]
I hate the fact that my personality is the type to bring people down.
It seems like when Im happy everyone is fine and bubbly, but if Im in a bad mood people are so down around me because it's me! Im supposed to be the happy girl, and they dont know how else to approach me when Im sad/upset/pissed off. I dont know how to deal with it either. I just curse out who ever strikes a nerve at the given moment, reguardless of who they are and how much I like them..

Im not looking forward to going to Scott's. I don't wanna bring him down too. But then again, maybe being with him wil cheer me up? Eh. oh well.

Yeah so I retook my pictures today, and filled out most of my senior bio.
I need a quote, suggestions? Something meaningful preferably...

Mrs. Reisinger is such a bitch, how do I get the same grade as TIM MCCLEARY when he dosent do shit in that class and Im busting my ASS for this woman! WHAT THE HELL!
6 thorns in my side.

Real Quick...lol [111304 2:17am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

well according to Scott...
Im not beautiful or single.
Im gorgeous and his girlfriend.
yeah so Im not one to argue. lol

but anyway.
Things are very bad at home. Honestly, Im on the verge of stealing a heavy duty cardboard box and living in it somewhere other than here! I hate my family, and I'd trade anyone for anything, just to get rid of them all. No Joke. It's that bad.
Work is cool I guess. Im not the new girl any more. Some girl who used to be on the City Softball team is. I opened a checking account today! Which makes paying credit card bills, all kinds of easy for me. Now I need to work on a car...haha yeah, riiiiight. Me save money, psshhh! I wish my Mommy & Daddy would buy me a car, like everyone else's Mommy & Daddy. And I wish my Mommy & Daddy would pay for me to go to college, like any other good Mommy & Daddy. I wish my my Mommy & Daddy cared about where the fuck I'm goin to end up in life because of the things they're putting me through. I can't wait til June, I'm moving out, going to BCC and they're all moving to Chicago, hopefully, never to be heard from again. My kids are gonna have it so good, just because of the simple fact that I'd never want my children to hate me as much as I hate my parents or feel the way Im feeling lately.
I took my SAT's last week. The were easy except for the fact that I didn't feel like doing them. Which sucks because eventually I was just filling in circles because I didn't feel like reading.
oh get this.
I take off work on Wednesday to go to NYC with Marie, right?
But she doesn't want me to come now because Im not gonna MISS SCHOOL
so we can be there EXTRA early to walk around IN THE COLD.
Yeah, so she coulda brought that up before I took off work to do her a favor.

um I think I've covered the more important/recent lets recap:
I go out with Scott.
I hate my family.
I like my job.
I'm losing $36 For NO DAMN REASON!

9 thorns in my side.

[102804 2:34pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

Literally crying right now....


6 thorns in my side.

[102704 8:46pm]
[ mood | like shit. ]

ugh. I feel like shit.
I slept right thru school. because i was up till like 2:30 talkng to Jail Bait.
not good, its like my 3rd absent day and were only like 3 months into the year. tisk. but yeah, some idiot at Capital One gave me another credit card...grrrrreeeat. So to try to make myself feel better I went shopping. Wasnt in the mood to really SHOP so I just bought a bra from Vikki's Secret and a pair of Timbs.
I neeeeed another job. Just for the week days. This credit card crap is killing me! They gave me one for Victoria's Secret too! I go in that store enough as it is, and now I have a card especially for it, this is not good
I have NO self discipline. NONE, whatsoever.

well i feel like shit still, so im going to bed!

thorns in my side.

Drop down, do the eagle, fuck that, real niggas just pull up they pants and lean back [102504 2:50pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

ugh, I worked all weekend.
hung out with Pete a little bit.
and marie a little bit.
haha, hung out with Marie and Jail Bait last night.
THAAAAAT was fun.

Got my progress report today.
Senior year is great...straight A's bitchass...lol not like thats anything big to most of you reading this. But its good to me.
I had such a peaceful day today. No Chris Cannon, or Chris Barbara chewing my ears off in 5th period. I understood all my algebra stuff. Pap wasnt in my seat at lunch. Great day if you ask me, although it won't end the way I want it to. So I guess I'll settle for however it does end.

well Im gonna go do my explication so I don't have to do it last minute like I did with my vocab this morning.

learning to cope...
it's great

4 thorns in my side.

lo que tu sientes se llama obsecion... [102404 12:12am]
[ mood | anxious ]

yeah...I do love my job. Sometime in November Im going to be getting more hours because Dave is leaving and Ill be the one taking over his night shifts...which sucks because its all weekends but hey. what can I do. Its not like I have a life anyway right? Yeah so thats cool.
let's see what else...
Im def. going on senior trip my Momma gave me the rest of the money for my deposit the other day. Im going to Wendy's with Scott after work tomorrow. That should be interesting.

south Park movie is on Comedy Central tonight at 1 am.
I have a phone date so im gonna go.

"no es amor
es un obsecion..."

thorns in my side.

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